Don't Look Sick, Even Though You Are

"You look great!" "Thanks! Looks like the pounds of makeup I dumped on my face are working!"

I don't actually feel better when I'm all dolled up. But at least emotionally I do, and I feel pretty. That to me is pretty worth it. I have a couple of tricks to distract the eye away from the physical signs of illness, because people typically admire health and equate it to beauty (I don't always do this, sometimes I love the way I look when I'm tired and pale. I know, I'm weird). So, here they are. 

Have at 'er:

1. Conceal, don't reveal.

She looks very optimistic...

• I'm pretty sure you all know what I mean. Constant fatigue leaves us chronically ill folks with the nastiest of under eye circles. There's really no way to deal with this other than to slap on that concealer. If you have bluish circles, choose a concealer with a salmon or peach tint, if your circles are reddish, choose something with a yellow base. 

2. Culla. 

What a lovely healthy glow!

• If you don't have any friends from the hood, say that word out loud. Yes. It means colour. I'm talking about blush. A good pink, peach or coralcoloured blush without too much shimmer can help keep you from looking like you've lost blood (you probably have lost blood).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

3. Scrubadubdub

That's right, you're happy.

• The only way to get rid of dry flaky, dead skin is to take it off. Nothing else can save it. Invest in a good exfoliating scrub to use in the shower. Think of it like shedding your dead, sick, skin to make space for new, healthy skin. 

4. Moistia

• Again, pronounce it out loud. Just like Gammy Num Num from that horrid movie "The Master of Disguise" give your skin some moisture. Drink water and load on some lotion. Dry skin makes you look dehydrated (you probably are dehydrated). 

5. Shine

Look at those luscious locks!

• Your hair. I always spray the bottom half with a nourishing shine spray. Your hair becomes dull when you don't get enough nutrients, so I pretend like I do, by spraying fake health all over me!

6. Layer

This might be a TAD much. 

• Whether you've put on weight or lost it, layering helps you control your body temperature, and hide whatever body your health is giving you at the moment. 

7. SPF

Lather up!

• I don't know why, but a ton of medications make people very sensitive to the sun. I know a lot of people who argue that a tan makes you look healthier. Ok, a tan. But I'm half dutch the rest irish and french. I don't tan. I burn. Like chocolate chips. Or a leaf. Or human hair. Something that burns easily. Just protect yourself from the sun. It's better. I promise.

8. Vampy Pout

Dem lips. 

• I'll be honest, I don't even know if this works. But if i'm feeling really sick and really down on myself I put on a dark lip colour. Whether it's red, plum, or a deep rose, I feel like the boldness of the pucker just catches people by surprise and for at least a second they're taken aback and forget I look like crap in every other respect. 

Whether it boosts your confidence or literally erases your signs of illness, any tips are useful. If you have any share them below, I'd love to try 'em out!

Exiled by Physics Kids

"I'm having physics people over." "Oh god."

I'm sitting in this little cheesecake shop that I crawl through a hole in the fence in my back yard to get to. I've got a cup of RedRose tea to my right, and the tiniest little milk pitcher beside it. They're playing an easy listening soundtrack made up of scratchy Norah Jones tracks. What I'm trying to say si that this is basically the scene where my true love would walk in the front door and I would either trip or spill something on him and it would be the most magical meet cute ever. Right?

This is probably more what I would look like...creepy. 

Not really. I'm here because my roommate is having friends over and they all work together doing physics things, and well, I feel pretty out of place around them. It's all good. I prefer my artsyness. I just figured it would be quieter here. It is. And I would have less people to beat to the bathroom. There are. 

The truth is, I'll sit here and blog until I either get bored or sore or my laptop runs out of power. Which won't be long at this rate. I won't be swept off my feet by some suave stranger or charmed by some quirky nerd. It doesn't matter. I have an awesome boyfriend. I'm just day dreaming now. 

I'm still dealing with this whole IV in my chest business. I realized as I was walking around my town today with my IV in my chest, sweat pants and flip-flops I looked like a successful code yellow (missing patient). Haha suckers. I was on my way to my infusion. 

Just imagine him with an IV in! The resemblance is uncanny.

The poor seating hostess at this cheesecake place looked rather alarmed when I showed up though. I'm always confused as to whether or not I should just tell people, to relieve their curiosity, or if I shouldn't, because people are unpredictable, and some can't even handle talking about needles. 

This brings me to the point of feeling the need to protect people from my chronic illness. That's a whole nother blog post, or several all to itself. 

So I'm just going to sit here, sip my red rose, and pretend that I'm not sad I couldn't find anyone to hang out with tonight. Sadness. 

I Have an Unsexy Illness

"Crohn's isn't sexy." "And other illnesses are?" "Yes! People walk around proudly supporting breast cancer with those bracelets that say 'I <3 Boobies'! But who would want to walk around supporting Crohn's and wear a bracelet that says 'I <3 Poopies?'"

There is a quote from John Green's infamous book The Fault in Our Stars. It is "illness repulses". I find this hilariously ironic, considering the characters in the book are diagnosed with cancer and are both described as being fairly attractive. Cancer is probably one of the sexiest diseases out there. I'm not saying it isn't a terrible diagnosis, it is, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it has been romanticized by the media and publicized fund raising efforts. 

When's the last time you heard about a person with an unsexy illness being featured in a magazine or TV show? I'm talking about people who's illnesses are uncomfortable to talk about. Like, endometriosis when a woman's uterine lining literally falls out during her period? Crohn's disease where you spend more time running to the bathroom to experience bloody diarrhea than you do at work? or Kidney diseases that are treated so aggressively with steroids that the patients appearance is so warped by side effects they hardly resemble the people they were before the medical therapy? People who gain weight from their treatment, or get facial hair, or drool, or become incontinent, or who spend so much time in bed they get sores, or their muscles atrophy? Or people with mental illness who say inappropriate things or get aggressive or maybe don't say anything at all?

At least Mother Monster loves us. 

When I was searching for images for this post I typed "ugly disease" into google and the SECOND image that came up was this: 

Ouchey.

 I knew what it was, but I followed the link anyway, sure enough, that right there,, dear friends is a Crohn's Colon. We are LITERALLY THE GIVEN EXAMPLE OF AN UGLY DISEASE. Sadness.

It's sad that our society is so shallow that we can even discriminate attractiveness within a tragic category as chronic illness and disability, that is sad. The even more enraging thing is that even though I pride myself on being an assertive advocate for my health, I feel inadequate. Like I shouldn't be proud of having Crohn's the same way a patient with breast cancer can be. Why? Because my most prominent symptoms happen in the bathroom? Ouch. 

Why can't Crohn's be portrayed like this instead?

I don't have any answers for this, it's just some food for thought. I just wish our society wasn't so obsessed with the sexy allure of certain conditions while others get next to no exposure.