Nope it wasn't an act of charity, she wasn't donating her hair. She also wasn't trying to beat the process of chemo. Her hair was just so damaged from a couple years of a torturous routine of bleaching, dying, colouring and heat styling that it was simply ruined. She had to start fm scratch.
Ok Jack, what does this have to do with your blog? - You all must be thinking.
I assure you it does.
After my sissy cut off all her hair she exclaimed that she looked butch and felt naked. I don't blame her. My sister is beautiful, but she definitely has a strong Dutch look to her, which isn't as daintily feminine as other hereditary lines.
I immediately came to her rescue by telling her that by wearing long earrings, feminine clothes and flawless makeup that no one would question her gender identity. She agreed and felt better.
I got thinking, I use makeup in the same manor to my Crohn's. I use it like an armour to protect myself from the world. I might take up to an hour applying my makeup just to hangout and watch a movie with my boyfriend or go out for a drink and wings with a friend. Seems a bit over kill right?
Wrong.
My makeup is a way for me to feel extra beautiful. I can feel beautiful without it no doubt, but the process of applying it is like treating myself to a spa, then going out knowing I'm looking my best shifts my brain focus from being ashamed of my illness or just feeling rotten, to having a spark in my eye that makes confident enough to order a girlie drink that I wouldn't usually (I'm a rum and coke girl).
My makeup is an armour against my Crohn's. For me it says: you can take a lot away from my life but you CANNOT take away my need to feel beautiful.
Its hard to feel beautiful when you're running to the bathroom 10x a day, or have doctors shoving cameras up your bum, or have side effects from medication that alter your appearance without your consent. But makeup is always there for me for a little self esteem boost.
There is comfort in feeling beautiful in your own skin, whether that takes makeup, clothes, jewelry, sports, dance, or anything else.
I hope you all feel beautiful today!
