How to Apologize

"Sorry." "Can you say that like you mean it?" 

I have a problem apologizing. I don't know how much of it is my personality or how much of it is being Canadian, but I apologize for everything, whether it's my fault or not. If someone bumps into me on the sidewalk, I say sorry. If I forget to close the window on a rainy day, if I forget something someone told me one time that was of little significance, I say sorry. I over apologize to the nines.

However, I'd rather over apologize than not know how to at all.

Some people see apologizing for something as weakness, they're hostile and reluctant to say sorry because they regard it as admitting they were wrong or at fault. 

Apologizing is not always admitting you are wrong. I've apologized for countless things without stating I was wrong, or that the other person was right. 

Apologizing is taking responsibility and showing remorse for the damage that your words, actions, behaviours and choices have caused another person. 

Apologizing acknowledges the other person's feelings, regardless of what you are apologizing for. 

That's why people say "I'm so sorry" when someone is experiencing a loss. Last time I checked, 99% of the world's population isn't murderers, so why is it that we can say "sorry" at a funeral for a death that isn't your fault, but not over the dinner table when your sibling takes your joke a little too seriously?

There are two things you can say when you apologize: "I'm sorry" and "What can I do to fix this?". Anything else, and it gets complicated. This bare bones apology might seem skimpy, but it is genuine, and sincere. 

It's just a matter of realizing that people's feelings are more important than being right, or free of "fault", we all need to swallow our pride, and value our relationships with people who are important to us more than our own stubbornness.

Try to keep the peace.

But I Just Came Off It!

"I think you need a course of steroids" "Like, need?" "Yes, need." "Fine."

Me and preddy have had a rough relationship. A little more time together than was good for us I think. I've actually lost count of exactly how many courses of prednisone I've done, but on average I believe it was about 2 per year since I was diagnosed. I'm guessing I've done between 15 and 20 courses of it since I was 12. Thats NOT good. 

As a young female just starting out junior high or middle school or whatever you want to call it, my first  course of prednisone was traumatic. It made me healthy, don't get me wrong. And I felt better on it than I had the entire previous summer. I even chose it as my treatment path, it was either that or 3 months minimum of nasogastric tube feeding (I'll explain that later). But holy crap, prednisone was rough at age 12. 

I had the most veracious appetite. I would come home from school and literally eat bowls of cereal or soup and food until I was full, which, took forever and never felt quite satisfying. So naturally, my weight ballooned upwards, I put on 30lbs in about 3 months, my cheeks puffed out and I was horrified at my appearance. At 12 years old, this really was the worst thing that could happen to poor adolescent me. After I finally finished the last of the pills, I was free! But I relapsed into another flareup only 10 days later. I spent the next several years with my Crohn's trying to avoid prednisone as much as possible.

As I got older, my reaction to each course of steroids changed. Now instead of getting extremely hungry, my mood is more effected. I become quite manic, taking on huge projects (why do you think I've started this blog?), not sleeping, being irritable and hyper. This impacts my relationships with people I care about, it affects my ability to work and learn due to my lack of concentration, and my less than desireable amount of sleep just throws me off completely.

However, now I realize that it's temporary, and I value being able to participate in life by feeling well, than caring about silly aesthetic side effects. My looks return, my mood stabilizes, my relationships recover. But I can't rebuild any of that if I'm still sick.

Comment below with any of your experiences on prednisone!

Doin' Roids

"I'm on steroids" "Hahaha, are you gonna get jacked?" "No... wrong type"

So, for many inflammatory conditions, the miracle drug, is an antiinflammatory steroid called Prednisone. It can be taken in tons of forms such as pills, puffers, IV, eye drops, and I'm sure more. It is used to treat everything from asthma, to Crohn's, to Lupus and everything in between.

Although it makes you feel better, and fast, the general consensus of this "miracle" drug, is that it is just satan. The side effects are horrible. In my opinion, they come in three categories: health, aesthetic, and emotional. The health side effects are by far the most serious to your body stuff like 

• Blurred vision
• Abdominal pain
• Peptic ulcer
• Infections
• Painful hips or shoulders

And long term damage to your bones can cause huge problems like osteoporosis later on in life.

If that isn't enough, there are less than favourable aesthetic side effects such as weight gain, facial hair, acne and "moon face" which essentially means that your cheeks swell up to make you look like Alvin the chipmunk. I've been there, it's not pretty. (Check out my "Contouring for Puffy Cheeks" video on youtube for tips to deal with this). 

Then, there are the emotional side effects, when you take prednisone, your mood can really go one of two ways, depressed or manic. But a lot of people have trouble concentrating, have heightened anxiety, difficulty controlling their emotion and indecisiveness. This is all in addition to the emotional burden of dealing with whatever condition you are taking the prednisone for and the health/aesthetic side effects. 

If you are put on prednisone, comment! I have tons of tricks to deal with the side effects and would love to give/receive support. 

Another post about my personal experience with prednisone will follow shortly!