Itsy Bitsy Quitsy

Itsy Bitsy Quitsy

Itsy Bitsy had a hard life, it started out though much more light.

From 1-11 Itsy was Bitsy and she stayed so from morning til night.

But Itsy Bitsy turned Gutsy Wutsy on the eve of number 12

And suddenly Itsy wasn’t just Bitsy she was Quitsy as well.

Itsy liked to munch and crunch but then that started to hurt

Because the Quitsy was so strong it got the heart the worst.

No more munch and no more crunch, just swallows and slurps and beads.

Sometimes even slurps did hurt, and Itsy was put on feeds.

Although the beads looked like little pearls, it was hard to hide, that

Itsy’s pearls whirled her world into a bigger size. 

At numbers 12-13 she sat on a weighty throne

Of 15 higher than her friends and 20 of her foes.

At 14 Itsy wasn’t as bitsy as she used to be,

She took matters into her own hands to be a teeny weeny.

The problem is, the heart goes quitsy when you’re too teeny weeny

And Itsy Bitsy didn’t let it happen, even to be leany.

So Itsy had to stop her head heart from going quitsy.

So she swallowed and slurped and beaded and pearled her way back up to bitsy.

Number 16-19 were the time when Biggie went and quitsied,

Slowly, slowly like a slug so lowly, Biggie had turned to shitsy.

But Itsy Bitsy was a fighter now, so she took the leap

She let go of biggie, and did the baggie boogie beep.

The problem was with Biggie gone, Glurpie reared its’ head.

Glurpie like to be the boss, but “No!” Itsy said!

With Glurpie around, Itsy’s breathers and weavers and filters alike,

Started to go Quitsy a little more each night.

But Itsy knew just to hold on a few more days or so,

And then she’d go to the chamber where they cut and sew.

The took her out and put her in and turned her inside up,

They tweaked the bleak and thankfully, Itsy had some luck.

A few more minutes went and passed and Bitsy thought she was fine

She walked and talked and smiled, but couldn’t wine or dine.

In she went to get fixed “once more” she said.

Because Itsy was Bitsy and still she wasn’t dead.

But, this time she fell, the lowest fall to date

This was a new one, a scary new one, a new Quitsy fate.

The little beans on top of Biggers had decided to go Quitsy,

As sad as Itsy was, she had faith in that she was bitsy.

The little broken beans inside her, on her face put a grin.

Because despite the Quitsy Biggie and Beans,

She would climb a mountain.

To be continued…

A Positive Struggle

"I just feel like everything is so overwhelming right now" "That's totally normal"

Amidst all the drama of my surgery, a close family friend of ours was diagnosed with cancer and very unexpectedly passed away. It was very fast, sudden, and no one really saw it coming, at least not this soon. It was my best friend's mother, and my mom's best friend. They met in prenatal classes and me and my bff were born 3 days apart. Needless to say, she was like my second mom.

With all of this happening and the amount of time I've had to be by myself and think, I've really had things put into perspective.

I've had a hard time dealing with the impact of my surgery and that's made it hard to keep positive. 

As a mental exercise, whenever I'm out and about I try to notice things that I'm grateful for, or notice things or people that I'm more fortunate than.  Needless to say this Thanksgiving, I will be very prepared. 

I feel like this has been a great way for me to try and keep humbled about my life. My surgery was life altering, but it wasn't life stopping, in fact, it was life saving. I just need to remember that and focus on the good and not the bad. I'm adding a page to my blog called "Positives" where I'm going to list all the stuff I think of. 

I hope all you spoonies are staying happy and healthy <3

How To Convince People You Aren't Disgusting

"It's been a week since I showered" "Really!?! I can't even tell"

When I was in the hospital I had a number of things attached to me post surgery. I had a catheter, a rectal drain, two IVs, oxygen, and a drain. I basically was an octopus, so there was no showering for a while.

What did I do to make myself seem less of a disgusting mess while not showering for a while? I'll tell you.

1. The Miracle of the Bird Bath

Well, this is pretty self explanatory, but you get a face cloth (or several) dip it in hot water, and scrub      your smelly bits. I'm talking armpits, under the boobs, groinal...

My personal favourite!

2. Antiperspirant

I'm sorry, but I don't care if you're all natural, and don't like the idea of shutting off your sweats, but if you're going more than 3 days without a shower, you need some 24/7 protection. 

She's got the right idea!

3. The Bun and the Band

Once your hair gets greasy, there isn't any saving it. You can use dry shampoo for a day or so, but honestly the product builds up and works against you. My go-to greasy hair cover up is a top knot and a stretchy headband. It works wonders and keeps your guests from thinking you're completely gone. 

First World Problems in the Hospital

"This place is insane"

I've spent 21 out of the past 30 days in hospital. No joke. It hasn't been a fun time. There has been a lot of pain, a few scary moments, a lot of visits from family, a few laughs, and a lot of healing. But today I bring a rant. 

I'm proud to be Canadian, one of my favourite things being a spoonie and Canadian is our health care system. It's free. Wonderfully free. Of those 21 days I spent in hospital, I had a major surgery, multiple scans, CTs, procedures etc and it didn't cost me a dime. But it's not without flaw.

The hospital I stayed in is disgusting. To the point where I questioned it thinking "Is this really Canada? Really?" The hospital I stayed in was built right after the Second World War, dating it enormously. The building is so old you can't even drink the water from the taps because the pipes contaminate the water. Ew. The bathrooms are so small there is hardly enough space for a person of my stature (5'2 and barely 120 pounds) and an IV pole, let alone a bigger person, and IV and a crisis! There was no air conditioning either, and in August, holy crap that was awful. 

I stayed in a ward, which means a room that has 4 beds in it. My roommates were seldom less than 45 years older than me. That sucked. Having roommates at all was awful. The room was cramped and crowded, there was absolutely no privacy, as only thin curtains divided the space. If I was in pain, my roommates heard it. If they were in pain, I heard it. Night time was a nightmare because not only my IV pump would wake me up, but so would the other three womens'. 

The other thing that really got me was how sick the other patients were and how little was being done to protect us from each other. The other patient, I don't know if it was the stubbornness that came with old age, depression due to illness, or what, but they were SO SICK. Like, couldn't get up to use the bathroom sick. I was introduced to the concept of bedpans and commodes over this hospitalization. EW. When you hear someone literally beside you pooping and peeing you get freaked out. That's disgusting, and dirty. And sometimes they wouldn't ask the nurse to clean it for hours and it would reek.

A lot of the patients were very uncompliant as well. They would refuse to try and get up and walk to aid their recovery, or use their incentive spirometers to regain full use of their lungs after surgery. They would complain about catheters, IVs, food, lack of food, nurse's attitudes, nurse's organization and methods, doctor's schedules, and just about anything else they could think of. 

I can't believe this is acceptable hospital procedure in a country as nice as Canada. I know it seems selfish and naive, but good lord no hospital should be built ever again that without only private rooms. Honestly. it is near impossible to get a private or a semi private room in that hospital because there are only 1 or 2, per unit even though they don't really take up that much more space. 

The part that enrages me the most was that a private room was given to a particularly horrible roommate of mine because she was so awful. I tell no lies. She was just so awful to the nurses and the other patients, so disruptive to our sleep and recovery that she was moved into a private room, despite the fact that she was probably the most uncompliant patient ever. Lucky bitch. 

The truth is, I shouldn't complain, I was treated very well, the nurses were amazing and totally run off their feet. I'm getting better. But let me add one FINAL insult to injury: there was no wifi. 

I'm a Liar Obviously

"I am here to stay" "Good job"

So, in my last post I said I would be back more regularly. Obviously I lied. Forgive me, I ended up in the hospital with an abscess and needed antibiotics, a drain and fluids.

Now I'm home again (with wifi finally yay!) and am in a "home hospital". Luckily, I was able to get a portable IV pump called a CADD (I don't know what that stands for) so I can do the IV antibiotic, one called ampicillin from home. It's awesome. I still have a perk drain in my side and the antibiotics/pump are heavy, but it is MILES better than being in the hospital. That place, is a nightmare. I'm going to have so many posts just to talk about all of my "experiences" in the hospital. From roommates to recovery, I've got a LOT of material to cover.